Shuffle

Everything is incomplete…

Everything is shuffled.

Shuffle to this, shuffle to that….

No waiting, no digesting…..

I am forced to move on, to move from point A to point B. I cannot absorb, and I cannot reflect on what it is….I cannot see things from what they are, and what they were.

I cannot enjoy the moments that I have.

I long for the moments I had where I felt him kick inside of his Mother. I long for those moments of peace, when everything was the way I wanted it to be.

Rush.

Show.

Move on.

Get over it.

The only times I left that are not shuffled are ones in which are now filled with a void….at best. Those not filled with a void are those that filled with unbearable pain.

There are no moments of peace, where the only violence is a soft kick.

The only semblance of peace was January 18, 2010 where Mother and I just sat…sat in disbelief, sat to ponder. It took us nearly 2 years to reach that point in which we could both find peace in each other's arms.