Dichotomy

This was something I penned the morning of the anniversary….a still morning 2 years from the day.

Dichotomy

Dichotomy of what I am, and what I what I want to be.

Dichotomy of what is, and what was meant for thee.

 

Happiness of knowing you were my three,

It was all I could do to wait and see.

 

The worry for your health as you grew

And your Mother did all that she could humanly do.

 

Your growth, your development was an eternity;

But each day during that time felt like the first day.

 

I worried for you four,

Not knowing what God had in store.

 

I was so confused as to my place,

But, I knew when I saw your Mother's face.

 

I needed to be who I am, it was that simple,

Yet, it was not….

 

We were resolute,

We would fight for each of you.

 

Your sister's heart was what grabbed our attention,

But, it brought up the question.

 

That so many did not fully appreciate

What would that do to each separate?

 

That if it worked for sister to resolve

How would that effect each, and all?

 

From the moments your sisters tasted air

I knew holding you, my heart would have this permanent tear.

 

It is that way each time I see their face

Time has failed to erase

 

My longing to hold you, and call you MY son.

And, this journey is far from done….